I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
