She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
