She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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