I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize