she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
