i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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