Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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