You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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