Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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