She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
