You're my little dorito
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
