Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
