i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
