haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize