Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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