at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
