hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
