she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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