ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Do you have feelings for this penis?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
