Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
someone get that fucking seahorse.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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