Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize