I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
