You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize