You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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