Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
