he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize