That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
