You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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