Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
