Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?

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(253): View more from Washington

I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door

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(815): View more from Illinois

it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink

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(801): View more from Utah

the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.

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(517): View more from Michigan

My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.

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