She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Swine flu. Run for my life!
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
