I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize