My underwear smells like fireworks.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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