just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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