do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
