Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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