I'm going to rape someone's good day.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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