This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
