i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
