Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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