I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
