is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
