brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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