Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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