We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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