I can tuck mytits in my pants
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
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