I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
