Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
