woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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