I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
