Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
