I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
