I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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