when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
