he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
