things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
