Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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