Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
