You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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