Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
