I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
