did you get engaged???
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
