its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
